Throughout our lives there will be a multitude of stressors. Many will be connected to our mere existence and our personal experience of it. In other words, just being alive can create stress as we manoeuvre our way through life. A few big ones that can hit us hard are:

• Death (our own mortality or losing a loved one)
• Thoughts of why am I here or what am I supposed to do?
• Loneliness or lack of connection to others
• Moving home
• Divorce/Break up
• Freedom
• 
  

(These and many more are outlined and discussed in ‘Existential’ theories)

Of my shortlist most are obvious, but the last one, freedom, may not sound right at first, for we believe that freedom is everything, or freedom is something we take for granted, or something we desire. But with freedom comes stress, for if we have freedom, we have to make choices and decisions and making our own decisions all the time can be exhausting. It is a responsibility that we do not always want. From which college to go to, what work to do, whether to have children, what energy supplier to use, car insurance company, which bank, which route to take for each journey… you get the idea. These decisions we have to make on a daily basis can be tiring.

So, firstly, let’s give ourselves a break if we find decision making a stressor at times.  

Secondly, we don’t have to make all decisions on our own, we can seek advice on some of them. And thirdly, with all this freedom, it means we have choices.

We may not think we have freedom and choices a lot of the time as it’s easy to concentrate on the things we feel ‘stuck’ in or we may feel at times that life has given us a bad pack of cards, but having choices also means we can choose how we will react. And reaction is the key.

We do not have to keep reacting the same way, we can change and refresh ourselves.  

We do not have to be a victim or prisoner of our past traumas. We can stop living in the past, and choose to make our current and future life the best we can.

We do not have to never trust anyone because one person hurt us. We can forge new relationships.

We don’t have to think our whole life is rubbish because one aspect of it isn’t so great.  

We can choose to stay still in our negative thinking or choose to bring in more positivity.

We can choose to accept that just getting out of the door with our trainers on is better than not trying to go for a walk or run at all. 

Life is not all or nothing, black or white, right or wrong.

Are you holding yourself back? (“I can’t try, there’s no point?”)

Can you make life a little more positive?

Can you be more optimistic than pessimistic?

Can you exercise your ability to choose to have the best life you can?

Something to think about.

If you would like therapy for anxiety but cannot access it, I have devised and filmed a 14 session programme for overcoming anxiety - please see my page for more details by clicking HERE